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Theatergoers watching my high school’s spring musical “Anything Goes” may have noticed one eager and aptly-named AngelGrace smiling from under her blonde 30s wig and tap dancing her way through the entire show. However, they were oblivious to the physical and mental exhaustion this energetic performer endured to achieve that place onstage.
I was born with hyperpronated ankles which causes chronic foot pain. After fruitless physical therapy sessions, my doctors recommended surgery. Not one to miss any school, I elected to have both surgeries the summer before my junior year, only fourteen days apart.
Thus, I spent my entire summer on the couch, nauseous, frustrated, and elevating both ankles above heart level at all times. When school started, I was just starting to use crutches to move around clumsily.
A few weeks after the beginning of school, our choreographer started weekly after-school tap workshops in preparation for“Anything Goes” in the spring. Immediately, I made up my mind to go. While everyone clicked out their time steps and shuffle off to buffaloes, I sat in a chair in my ace bandages and orthopedic shoes, frustrated, humiliated, and trying to mimic their movements. I was a complete novice, but slowly, slowly, I learned how to tap.
After an entire semester of hard work, the“Anything Goes” cast list was posted, and I received a featured tap role. Throughout the show, Angel Grace’s heels clicked the stage with well-practiced precision, her upturned face glowing with elation and triumph.
—学生Grace Kuffner ’20
Some of my hardest decisions take place in the booth of a restaurant, so choosing a major has been an absolutely agonizing process for me. I fancied subject areas from English to chemistry, but I finally (hesitantly) decided on double majoring in mathematics and economics and minoring in French. My most concrete interest, mathematics, originates from my introduction to calculus and the realization that the breadth and depth of the mathematical world extend beyond straight numerical calculations. I believe that MIT’s superior mathematics program will add unimaginably new dimensions to this magical realm that I have only just discovered.
My love for people is the best part about myself. There is no better feeling than the happiness I find in meeting new people and creating connections with them. My extroverted personality is the root of much of my success in leadership, presentations, and networking. I naturally reach out to people, and as a result, I am able to accomplish projects like establishing a mentoring program for the French Honor Society and a threefold increase in membership for the Asian American Club. However, my outgoing personality made the most memorable impact at the “Conversation with Michelle Obama,” an event for which I was nominated to attend. Through GoogleHangout, several American cities were able to connect to Michelle Obama in South Africa. When the Kansas City group was asked about technology integration in education, the students all froze underneath the limelight. In a burst of courage, I blurted a couple of words and consequently received the microphone to continue. At that moment, it didn’t matter that there were thousands of people around the world including Michelle Obama listening; it was just me and my string of thoughts. I was the only person in Kansas City to speak that day.
I distinguish myself with my enthusiasm, and I easily see myself thriving as a part of the tight-knit community, the risk-taking hacking culture, and the passionately nerdy student population of MIT. After all, I still keep in touch with my lime-green carded tour guide.
—学生Judy Wang ’19
I am an enthusiastic foodie. I subscribe to my favorite food blogs, anxious for new recipes, and I research exotic fruits and vegetables.
Armed with knowledge but little experience, I experiment in my own kitchen. As the simple ingredients combine in harmony and delicious smells waft through my apartment, I am eager to test the final dish. Though the end result is not always perfect, I enjoy every step of preparing food.
—学生Elaine Lin ’18
I am completely Chinese. My parents are Chinese and I was born in China. However, as first-generation immigrants, my family and I have been immersed in the French-Canadian culture of Montreal and the American culture of Kansas City. I spent a measly five months in China after my birth, a seemingly short eight years in Montreal, and an even shorter nine years in Overland Park. At heart, I am Chinese like my background, but my childhood is colored by French influences and my adolescence is completely painted with the exuberant American character. As a result, a lot of my life has been categorized by my three countries and cultures: the languages I speak, the habits I have, and the aspirations I dream.
My college track, as of right now, is to double major in economics and mathematics while also minoring in French, but my ultimate goal is to make a positive and memorable impact on the world. Every subject field has a direct lineation to my different cultures, and the most obvious is my interest in French. While it may sound silly, I feel beautiful when speaking such a beautiful language, and I aim to further develop my linguistic foundation through a minor and studying abroad. My love for mathematics is most primarily rooted in my Chinese culture, as my father’s enthusiasm about little mathematical tricks is contagious. Finally, the opportunities and the boldness I find in American culture are best epitomized in its economic landmark: Wall Street.
有申请人在写个人陈述的时候，思绪一打开就收不住，写完就超过1500字了。要知道，在招生官审核材料的最忙碌的阶段，过长的文章是没有人愿意也没有时间耐心读下去的。
对于申请研究生的学生来说，课程和研究兴趣是最关键的因素。如果你的个人陈述说了三件事情都是为了说明一个问题，那么为什么不选出一个最具代表性的说明呢-这样会让人觉得你写东西抓不到重点。因此申请文书切忌拖沓冗长，精练、直观、材料支持有力就足够了。
My father is a chartered accountant and my mother is a banker. During my days at Engineering College I used to go to my father's office and help him manage his portfolio of equities and other financial instruments. This was the time I learnt the first lesson of finance from my father . risk and return are proportionate. In 1998 when I was in the second year the China stock market crashed. But fortunately, my father had a well-diversified portfolio because of which our returns were protected from the downside risk. This was when I learnt the second principle of finance from my father . diversification reduces risk. While I understood these two principles intuitively, it produced in me a strong urge to learn and understand the complex theory behind the working of Finance. This, I believe, was a turning point in my career. I made up my mind to pursue a career in Finance and hence decided to do a Masters program in Business Administration.
这种申请美国大学文书写法的优点：联系家庭，叙述自己。给人感觉亲切。
这种美国留学文书写作写法的缺点：无法引起读者的强烈兴趣。
2. 叙述事件，引出自己的兴趣、观点。
As I was finishing college, my mother had both of her hips replaced with artificial ones because all of the cartilage in her hip joints had worn away and it was very painful for her to walk. I found it fascinating that engineers, orthopedic surgeons, and biologists had all worked together to design these artificial joints that completely transform. people's lives by giving them back pain-free mobility, and I knew at that moment that this was an area about which I wanted to learn more. In China these days, university graduates who have not been lucky enough to settle into their dream jobs often look to graduated studies as a way to kill the time that they cannot otherwise spend meaningfully. I am prepared to go against the social conventions by putting on hold a successful research career that promised to be even more successful. With eight years of productive and highly valued practical research behind me, I now would like to revert to a more intellectual life so that I can conduct more theoretical discourses.
这种美国大学文书写法的优点：通过叙述事件来写，可以自然的连贯到自己的观点，兴趣，不会显的突兀。
这种美国大学文书写法的缺点：并不能引起读者强烈的兴趣。
随着当前出国留学越来越理性，越来越多的国内学生从高一甚至初中就开始着手进行托福考试、美国高考SAT以及课外活动的准备。经过初三、高一以及高二三年的准备，可以说国内申请人的SAT成绩、托福成绩、GPA（平均成绩）以及课外活动基本已经成形，Essay写作相当于将这些成绩和所做过的活动结合起来，透过Essay予以呈现，这也是大学对学生初步认识和考察的依据。简而言之，就是把所有的菜料都准备齐全了，炒出什么样的菜，靠的就是Essay了。
Essay是学生向美国大学展示自我个性与风采的重要申请材料。但是，很多中国学生并不明确如何撰写符合美国大学审查标准的Essay。由于美国大学的入学体制不同于中国大学，完全以高考成绩来决定成败、选择学生。美国的大学，尤其是常春藤联盟名校等一流的大学更加注重学生的个性与特质。对于一个普通的高中生，在没有取得巨大成功或者成就的情况下，是否具有未来成功的潜力是美国名校最看重的。因此，SAT满分的学生或GPA成绩非常高的学生，不一定能进入理想的学校，而许多成绩不是非常优异的学生却能够进入一流名校。这就是美国大学选择学生的特色。如何写出一篇把自己个人特色、优势表达得非常出色、非常到位的Essay，就扮演了举足轻重的角色。
据悉，美国高校的入学审查官平均花在一个学生Essay自传上的时间是5分钟。如何通过Essay的开头，能够让Essay的审查官很清晰明了地看到申请人过去三年的经历与想法，并且有兴趣进一步深入了解这个学生，是很重要的。但是，Essay必须根据学生三年来经历的事实进行撰写，绝不可以凭空假造。这种Essay的表达，看似容易，其实是很复杂的，因为每个学校的要求并不是整齐划一的，没有一个共同的标准，在挑选国际留学生时每所高校会有自己的偏好。因此，学生在进行Essay写作时，一定要在围绕、突现自身亮点、特质的基础上也要综合考虑所申请大学的“口味”，这样才会让自己在美国名校申请的激烈竞争中脱颖而出。
To whom it may concern:
I am a senior engineer and the head of Transmission Business Department of Great Dragon Telecommunications Group. As the instructor of him in his graduation fieldwork, I am very glad to write this letter in support of Mr. Gregory Tang‘s application for studying in your university.
I got to know Mr. Tang in 1998 when I was the head of a research and development team on SDH optical telecommunications transmitting system, a part of the State 863 Program. He was recommended to me as a top student of Peking Post and Telecommunications University. After strict examinations, I accept him as a member of our team. Although Mr. Tang worked with us for only one year, his research ability, diligence, and team spirit really impressed all of us.
Mr. Tang has strong independent research and exploit ability. When working in our team, he was responsible for the research task of mapping four 34Mb/s signals into a STM-1. He creatively solved the problem of De-mapping and jitter restriction of PDH signals in SDH system. This research raised the transport efficiency of 34Mb/s signals by 33% so as to meet users‘ higher demand. This technology successfully passed the test of the Information Industry Ministry and was applied to the broadcasting and TV transmission experimental network of HuNan Province later.
Mr. Tang is proficient in English. He can communicate with foreign specialists in English, which is rare among Chinese young people. I think language will not be an obstacle for his study and life abroad.
Telecommunications industry is a rising industry in China. Chinese government is giving full support to its development. I support Mr. Tang‘s decision, and hope that he will come back to make more contribution to our motherland after he finishes his program abroad. I would be very grateful if you could give his application your fullest consideration.
Yours sincerely,
首先，留学申请书开头第一句很重要。
大学招生官看过的留学申请文书千千万，如果不能在第一句成功吸引他们的注意力，可能接下来也很难给他们留下深刻的印象了。
伟大的第一句话是有力的。它可以设置悬念，描绘一个令人兴奋的场景或一个不明确的结论，吸引读者了解更多。
其次，使用有个性的写作风格。
写作是为了让读者感兴趣。在这种情况下，读者是一名美国大学招生官，他在你之前阅读了数千个学生的留学申请文书，之后还会阅读数千篇，因此绝对要努力让大学的招生官不感到厌烦。
Matsuyo wrapped her aged hands around mine. She had been uncommunicative and unable to feed herself for some time. Slowly, she began mouthing along as Isang “Aki-no-yuuhi,” a traditional Japanese melody. This simple song about foliage in the setting sun had finally broken through the fog of her dementia.
The care managers told me that, from then on, Matsuyo became more alert and began feeding herself again. I am so thankful that I could break down this barrier with my Japanese and music abilities.
Matsuyo is one of the residents living at Sunrise Senior Living: I have spent over 400 hours volunteering there. My responsibilities at Sunrise include spending one-on-one time with residents and leading group activities such as exercise, current events, meditation, flower arrangement, sing-alongs, baking, and gardening. I also began a weekly “Summer Arts and Crafts with Grace” activity and taught crocheting, sculpting, painting, and jewelry making. I sometimes give violin concerts as well. The residents and staff at Sunrise got to know me so well that Sunrise offered me a job (which I, unfortunately, could not take), and one of the residents, Mama T, refers to me as her granddaughter.
Volunteering has made me appreciate that members of my community are indeed my family, and family members look out for and support each other. Not only was I given the opportunity to enrich these residents’ lives, but they also in turn greatly enriched mine, in the infinitely rewarding moments involving something as simple as a Japanese melody.
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